Drink of choice: NOT dry Martini. 4 parts Plymouth Gin, One part Dolin Dry. Orange bitters. Three unstuffed manzanilla olives. The Gold Standard, as far as I am concerned.
Friends, it has been too long. Much to discuss and so little time to do it.
I am tired of talking about my cancer. I am interested in talking about yours. Feel free to reach out.
As was well reported in these pages, my reproductive system has been forcibly removed in its entirety. Good news is there are replacement parts available. My most recent surgery was an “AUS.” Artificial Urinary Sphincter.” Look up Boston Scientific 800. Pretty cool. If it takes I won’t have to live in my own urine 24/7. Fingers crossed. For those that are curious, walking, talking and sleeping in your own piss sucks. Just to clarify.
A friend reached out to me- and the world. Fellow traveller. Laid his soul to bear. Implored you to get a colonoscopy- at the least. Follow his good lead. Do it. I would add, get your PSA’s checked. Both apply to fellow biological men aged 50+. and Breast cancer screening for my women friends. Those born with vaginas at the very least (It is so hard to keep track these days).
Not wanting to talk about cancer- it has become boring- let’s discuss life. What is it all about? Is it worth living? Will there be prizes?
“What’s it all about?” Douglas Adams proposed the answer is, in fact, “42.” Could be. Not so sure. I would suggest the meaning of life is reproduction. Every species, viruses- all are hard wired to replicate themselves. It plays into my unified theory of science. 1: Everything is physics. 2: Chemistry is just Physics slowed down a bit. Quite a bit, really 3: Biology is self replicating chemistry. It is the self replicating part that is key. All life- or in the case of viruses- genetic material- is hard wired to replicate. If you haven’t done it, I highly recommend it. Or at least try. Nature is not always cruel.
“Is it worth it?” Absolutely. No biological life form-from single cell organisms on up would disagree. Being alive is the coolest thing ever. Ever. It is Binary. Exist or not to exist? To be or not to be, that is the question. To be is the answer you Danish fuck. Suicide is still for losers. Life is good.
“Will there be prizes?” Gets tricky here. The seventy-two virgins thing is right out so go unstrap the incendiary device from your chest right now. St. Paul and pearly gates aren’t happening either and despite Albert Brooks vision (a jew contemplating a heaven with Meryl Streep? Really?) the food likely won’t be that great. But life has its rewards. A life well lived is worth contemplating. That is a can of worms. Thoreau had his ideas. Brilat Savarin had his. I have tended to agree more of the latter while appreciating the former. I recently drank a Chateau Figeac “69 that proved there are prizes. My daughters growing to be strong women is a badge of honor. You decide.
So what’s it all about, Alfie? Was life so simple then? Maybe. When was then? I do not know, but it feels like some time ago.
I leave you with what I know to be true. Love each other. The history of humans is convoluted and fucked up but there is one constant- if we love each other life is better. Always and forever. There is nothing else.
With love and an everlasting but misguided hope for peace,
Jay
My Year as a Eunuch 